I like being occupied... and pre-occupied. Call me hard to please, but I can't stand being left alone to my own thoughts or own little creative activities. Not for too long. I need something more. I like having a full schedule that occupies my time, and then some.
Medical school has filled that schedule --- fulfilled that need.
Sure, I've gotten a little sad at times. Cried a couple times (the post about this will come later). Thought for a couple of hours that I was giving up my 20s for good, and more days than not, I probably wouldn't get to see the afternoon sun. Thought I'd be stuck in a lab.. or a hospital.. or a library... and when I'd finally get to go outside before nightfall, I'd have grey hair and I'd still be single, but I'd have an MD to my name. And really, those things might actually be true..
But I've begun to accept it all, and I've come out of it for the better. I learned something.
I appreciate the sun more when I don't always get to see her.
I appreciate my free time more when it doesn't come around too often.
When there's a reason to laugh now, I cock my head back and take full advantage. And when I have time to listen to music, I belt out the words along with it. I appreciate those opportunities... Sure, before I appreciated them, but not as much.
Eileen! I was so so happy to see an update from you :) I feel like I'm at a similar place in my life, especially the whole "then I'd finally get to go outside before nightfall, I'd have grey hair and I'd still be single," so it brings me a sense of calmness and peace to see that you've accepted it all...because it helps me accept it too.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can relate about the full schedule too. I think it's good to sit with your thoughts, but there has to be a balance...and room for life :)
good luck with your exams and I am looking forward to seeing you this weekend.
Thanks, Laura!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I agree with you. My dad once told me that in order to maintain a steady balance of happiness, you need 4 different lives: a work life, a personal life, a sex life, and REM --- but if you're not getting REM, none of the first three count.
But I definitely let my work life bleed into the personal life... and I secretly enjoy that... school's a hobby for me.
See you this weekend. I think my class is going to play baseball this Saturday... you should join --- maybe meet a nerdy single classmate:)
Grey hair is no problem at all, I figured it out (Lady Clairol). Best thing is that you like what you're doing. And so you see work is not work after all under those circumstances. time is relative. Sounds like you are breezing through med school. Very proud of you - again. Momma Dee
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